Caregiving can be complicated. Finding resources and making decisions is not an easy task. The entire family should be addressing caregiving issues. If elderly parents are capable, by all means, involve them in an open discussion of issues directly related to their future. Be sure to involve all siblings in the discussion even the "long distance" children. If they can't be there, keep them well informed.

• Who will be the principle caregiver?
• What involvement will siblings have?
• Which responsibilities can be shared? By whom? (Supervising medications, shopping, doctor visits, etc.)
• Is communication open and honest between caregiver and elderly person?
• Do family members share feelings and information?

• What is the person's financial situation?
• Is there a list of assets, their value, their locations?
• Is there a private pension? Is it mailed directly to a Bank? Which one?
• What is the social security amount? Is it directly deposited? Where?
• Are there other sources of income? Annuities, stocks, interest, IRA's, CD's, safe deposit box?
• What are the debts? Mortgages, care payments?
• Is there a need to apply for SSI, Supplementary Security Income?
• Is medical coverage adequate?
• Is there a prescription plan? Long term care insurance? Medicare? Medicaid?
• Has anyone consulted an eldercare attorney?
• What is the "time frame" in your state for transferring assets before being qualified for Medicaid?
• Is there a will, a living will, a power of attorney, a durable power of attorney that last beyond incapacitation? Where are they kept?

• What housing options are possible? Can the elderly person live alone?
• What about an assisted living facility?
• Is a nursing facility or a personal care facility needed?
• Is senior housing or shared housing an option?
• Is a life care community feasible?
• Has the person or family any "up-front money" available for some period or personal pay in a nursing home.

• Has the person had a recent physical? Is there a family doctor? Has a geriatric assessment been ordered?
• What medications are being taken? By prescription? Over the counter?
• Ask the pharmacist or doctor if any meds should not be taken together. Any foods avoided?

• Are there any pre-paid funeral expenses? Any specific funeral wishes?
• What funeral home? A viewing? A family plot?
• Cremation? Any specific desires?
• Can you discuss death with the person for whom you are caring? Why not? Most of the elderly do not fear discussion of death.